Keeping Your Temper in Check

Everyone gets angry occasionally, but some people handle anger better than others. For example, many people think it's healthy to vent when upset. Venting in the appropriate context can be helpful, but expressing anger by lashing out at friends, family members and coworkers can damage relationships and make you feel even worse.

According to the American Psychological Association, people instinctively respond to anger with aggression. The reason? Anger offers an evolutionary advantage — it prepares people to attack and defend themselves. Most daily annoyances and arguments, however, don't require aggressive action. To avoid doing or saying something you'll regret, pause before responding. Deep breathing and counting to 10 or silently repeating a calming phrase can help quell your anger. Temporarily removing yourself from the situation may also be helpful.

Remember that ignoring anger can be just as harmful as lashing out. If you're upset with someone, address the situation respectfully. Instead of accusations, explain why the other person's words or actions upset you using an "I" statement. For example, "I felt unappreciated when you didn't acknowledge my contribution to our project."

If you have a consistently short temper, take stock of your lifestyle. Are you dealing with extra stress at work? Have you been getting enough sleep? People are more easily irritated when they're chronically stressed or tired. In these cases, stress-relieving strategies, such as writing in a journal or practicing yoga or meditation, and getting eight hours of sleep may help keep anger in check.

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